Wiping Mike Morse's stats out of the record books

Reaching deep into his bag of inanity, Bud Selig has finally decided the record books may or may not need revising.

"The whole record thing is on table. After we get this cleaned up, we can look at that," he said. "I'm not saying we will do anything because there doesn't seem to be a practical way of doing anything about it."

We can look at that, folks. Bud Selig is going to sit down a look at the record books. He'll pull it off his shelf, throw it on his desk, and stare at it.

There it will sit, forever unchanged, because once you start changing the record books, you open up a whole new can of worms. Take away Barry Bonds' home runs. Take away Mark McGwire's home runs. Is Roger Maris then the single-season home run champ? Well, there's that whole 161 games vs. 154 games thing going on. What about the Babe? Should we restore his crown?

While we're at it, let's wipe every record from the expansion era out of that huge tome Selig keeps in his office. Bad pitching, small ballparks, it's all part of the game now. It wasn't before. That's an unfair edge.

In fact, let's just top it off with this one: Home runs hit in Coors Field no longer count. That'll solve all of our problems.

Of course, a few hours after making his initial statement today at the GM meetings, Bud changed his mind. Stay the course, Bud. Stay the course. And don't sell the Nationals while they still have time to put a plan in place for competing next season either.